


Paralyzed

by syusuke



Series: ANBU Kakashi [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Character Study, Dissociation, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, referencing Anbu Fillers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26822668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syusuke/pseuds/syusuke
Summary: What happens when you can't decide between fight or flight?What happens when you face an opponent impossible to beat?
Series: ANBU Kakashi [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1189593
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Paralyzed

He was still too weak.

He couldn’t hit him, his attacks all went wide.

He was an Anbu captain and he was unable to do anything.

One clean slice - that was all it took or it should be. He knew he should be dead. Hound realized his enemy was toying with him. He felt cold air on his face as the broken mask scattered on the ground. Porcelaine hit the ground with a barely audible clatter.

The explosion took him off guard, but luckily his enemy was surprised too. When his vision cleared he got to his feet as quickly as he could. He readied his kunai and waited for an opening. As soon as inhuman yellow eyes fixed him, he found himself frozen on the spot. In a split second he realized there was an enormous gap in their abilities he couldn’t possibly overcome.

Part of him was grateful Orochimaru was amused and left with a simple threat.

The other louder part of him demanded he’d move and run after the Sannin. How dare he brush him aside like that? How dare Orochimaru spare him and damn him to be a failure? The angry voice in his head kept shouting, but his body would not move.

The moment Orochimaru was out of his hearing range, his knees gave in and he crashed to the ground. His breath came in huge gulps and he felt like he was drowning, struggling to stay conscious.

Hound was trembling. Shivering on the ground, not because of the cold, but due to the oppressive tension slowly leaving him. He was trembling like a scared child and he loathed it. The years he spent honing his skills, gaining a tighter control on his chakra, striking with unfailing precision. The years he tried to lock away his emotions and harden his heart. He became merciless, heartless? But apparently, not emotionless, not fearless.

Hound still had a long way to go.

When he reported his failure the Sandaime simply nodded and dismissed him. There was no scolding, no new training assignments. No consequences.

It was then that he understood.

No one expected him to win, no one had any justified complaints.

Orochimaru was a monster. He had surpassed the Sandaime and none of the shinobi in the hidden Leaf were his match. They were all at his mercy and Lord Third knew it. He knew they couldn’t beat him. Not even with prep time, not any of them on their own. Even banded together their chances were slim.

It was then that Hound made a decision.

Raw skill and endless training could not make him stronger. Not at this point. There was nothing new he could learn in Anbu. He tried to follow their path. Tried to bury his emotions, to become a weapon. Razor sharp and swift in its use. And he was. But there was only so much a weapon could do. A weapon had a limit, be it due to range or sturdiness. Humans were different though. The human potential was limitless.

Kakashi had served as a weapon long enough. Finally, it was time to come back. He needed a reason to surpass his limits. He needed.. his own ninja way. Not to become the Hokage like Obito wanted, not to become a great medic like Rin dreamed. He thought of his sensei and decided he could be a protector.

Kakashi made a decision to use Hound as a tool, but to be more than that. He would remain in Anbu and protect his team as he had done before. He would lead Team Ro and he would push his limits. He would train until he collapsed. He had to get stronger. Maybe he was no match for Orochimaru, maybe he wouldn’t be. Not even after years of more training.

He could be a protector though, a guardian. He could follow Minato’s lead.

He could protect the next generation by taking missions that would break anyone. He could protect them by being broken in their stead. What did it matter, if he was cracked in a few more places? He was already broken beyond repair. He could never return to a normal shinobi life. He had already lost so much of his humanity. He might as well become a monster too.

If he couldn’t get strong enough to defeat Orochimaru, he had to become strong enough to incapacitate him. If he couldn’t incapacitate him, he had to become skilled enough to delay him. If that meant dying in the process then so be it. Anything was better than the empty feeling that took a hold of him back when he stared into cold yellow eyes. Anything was better than being useless, helpless.

_ Frozen. _

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful Thisismycanon 
> 
> As always, I'd love to know what I made you feel with this little short.   
> Keyboard smashes and emojis are welcome too xD


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